Apr 22, 2022

Lucie and Hailey

Lucie and Hailey have always been close. Lucie had only been with us for two and a half weeks in January when Zoe suddenly died. Zoe was our first Dachshund and after loosing her I knew I always had to have a Doxie in my life. When Hailey came to us that April, the two of them went together like peanut butter and jelly. Their relationship from the start goes against everything I have read recently and I'm so glad I didn't listen to any of that back then as we would have missed out on their love. Since Lucie passed, Hailey has been quieter and kind of lost. She has received extra attention and love but nothing compares to her Lucie.

It's been two months since we let Lucie go and we are all missing her to say the least. The girls are adjusting to life without her most likely better than I am. At Hailey's wellness check in Feb just a few days before Lucie went downhill, we found out that Hailey's ionized calcium was elevated. My Vet wasn't concerned, yet, but wanted it checked again. We did a check 2.5 weeks after and it had remained the same. For the next check he wanted more time in between so we did another follow up two weeks ago and received the results last week that it has increased so she had a malignancy panel done.

Hailey has Primary Hyperparathyriodism. The cancer is in the parathyroid. She will have surgery to remove it. Thankfully, the tests did not show that there was cancer elsewhere. The surgery should be a one a done deal. I'm so very happy that we can fix this for her. She is showing no signs of feeling poorly which is wonderful.

I hate that Hailey is having to deal with cancer. It absolutely sucks. I am glad that we can take care of it for her. I'm not sure I could handle loosing two of my girls so close.


Mar 13, 2022

Scratching at the Door

I have been giving the girls extra attention these last three weeks. As each day passes by I feel that the girls are really realizing that Lucie is not coming back. I took Addie for a walk yesterday. It was a lovely walk for us both. As soon as we got in the house, she was scratching on our back door to go outside. She couldn't possibly need to go since she just marked the entire neighborhood. When we went out, Addie trotted over to Lucie's favorite spot in the yard near her shade tree, turned around and looked at me with these big soulful eyes. It completely broke my heart even more. She then sat down.

Ron put up a new bird feeder and just after we sat down a cardinal flew in. He landed on a nearby tree and was staring dead at us, just watching us for the longest time. He then stayed at the bird feeder for nearly a half hour with us, checking all the while to make sure we were still there. When it was close to Addie's dinner time, he flew away. Thank you for the sign my Lucie. We needed it.


Mar 3, 2022

Uncle Rico

"You gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come. I'm waiting on the good times now." - Bob Ross

My husband shared this quote with me. I cry every time I read it. Lucie was a big part of our little family and her absence is felt continually each day. I've been keeping busy handcrafting this week. I put funny tv shows or movies on in the back ground to distract my mind. Yesterday I had Napoleon Dynamite on and this scene nailed exactly what grief feels like for me.

You're going through your day, everything is fine, you think yeah, I got this and then BAM grief comes at you hard just like this orange. Girly scream and all. While keeping my hands busy is good, my mind is left with nothing else to do but think. Right now my thoughts are with Lucie.

Hailey is missing Lucie terribly. Since Lucie loved to spend her time outside in the cold weather, Hailey would always run over to her when I would take her out for a visit. Hailey hates cold weather but loves her Lucie.

Each time we go outside now she goes to Lucie's spot and sits. 

Little nurse Hailey was never far from her Lucie. Hailey is getting extra cuddles and attention to help her through. But we are all waiting on the good times to come.

Feb 24, 2022

My Sunshine

"My sunshine doesn't come from the sky. It comes from the love that's in my Lucie's eyes."

On Saturday, Feb 19 the morning started off normally. Lucie woke me up at 3am for a potty break. She walked outside, did both and walked back in all ok. After breakfast she wasn't interested in going outside right after so around 9am when we went outside I knew she would need a pee. But this time she struggled on the walk out. She couldn't hold herself up to potty so we put the back end of her harness on for extra support. She still didn't go. I know she can hold it for a long time so I thought she definitely will at 11am. She did not.

Now I was concerned. Called VSNT and they said to take her to the ER that's in the same building as they are. They said that they would provide all the information so we wouldn't have to start from scratch. Lucie was so brave and handled one more ER visit like a pro. The Vet on call said all they could do was give her a shot for pain to get her to her emergency appointment with the Oncologist on Monday. Since we had no other option, we approved the pain med shot. They gave her Methadone Hcl Injection 10mg/ml. That is not a route that I will take with my dogs again if given a choice of pain meds. Since she had not urinated since 3am, I asked if there was anything that they could do for her. They did an ultrasound of her bladder and said it didn't look very big. They tried to get her to go outside but she did not. They also confirmed that her back right foot was cupping and that she was not using it much.

We got her home and she did rest for a while, she was really out of it. She ate dinner well and when we took her outside, still no pee. Later in the evening, she had the worst nose bleed she has ever had. We gave her a Yunnan Baiyao capsule that she was prescribed. About an hour later it sounded as if she was trying to throw up but it was weird. Like a water sound. We believe she aspirated the capsule we gave her. We had her stand up and thought she got it all up. 

It was a nice cold evening so my husband spent some time outside with her which she enjoyed. After that she rested ok until breakfast. When I got her up she ate breakfast well. When we got her up to go outside she was not able to use her back legs much at all. My husband carried her out, with the help of her harness supporting her she still did not urinate. As I was watching her, she looked up at my husband and then looked up at me and her look said, I'm hurting, I'm tired, I'm ready.

A Vet at Loving Paws Veterinary House Calls had an afternoon appointment available. Lucie spent the rest of her day outside with me in her favorite spot in the yard. We watched my husband make her burgers on the grill which she loved and for desert she had an ice cream cone. She barked at the squirrels and got lots of love, cuddles and kisses. She went peacefully, on my lap, in our arms surrounded by love.

I'm absolutely heartbroken over our Lucie girl but I know that she is no longer in pain. She was always so stoic and strong even in the end when her cancer had most likely spread elsewhere. I have spent this week picking up the pieces, feeling completely lost and being a hot mess. The heart and soul has left our pack and now we all have to find a way forward. One of my favorite things to do was to sing to her. It was breaking my heart that I would never sing to her again. Then I came to the realization this afternoon that even though she is gone, I can still sing to her. So I did and I felt more peaceful after that than I have all week. I feel her with me again. We were blessed to have had her be a part of our family for 13 years. That's a ton of wonderful memories that I will hold close to my heart.